New Moon Reunion
by Lust4Edward
Summary: Starts when Edward and Bella are released from Aro and his brothers in New Moon. Edward's POV. Sorry an Update took so long but here it is, hope you like it...
1. Chapter 1

**TWILIGHT FANFICTION**

Demetri brought us into the bright reception area, where I had already been once today. The human, Gianna, was sitting at the counter and smiled at us as we walked in. I didn't even bother to listen to her simple mind.

Demetri warned us not to leave until dark, I nodded slightly, I just wished he would leave, so I could be with Bella...to comfort her, she looked mortified. I couldn't get over how beautiful she looked, even at a time like this, I can't believe I ever left her. She must be really afraid because she was shaking hard, I didn't think her small body was capable of such vibration.

"Are you all right?" I asked quietly, unable to conceal the anxiety in my voice.

"You'd better make her sit before she falls," Alice said. "She's going to pieces."

A strange expression crossed my Bella's face, I couldn't quite read it. God, I wish I could read her mind! Sobs started escaping her and they were loud, and she was still shaking violently.

"Shh, Bella, shh," I said as I pulled her over to the sofa on the other side of the room; Gianna was looking at us curiously. _I wonder what happened to her..._ I pushed her thoughts from my mind, I didn't have time for them.

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her," Alice suggested.

I threw her a frantic look, slap her? Was she crazy? That would be like slapping an angel. _I'm sorry... _Alice thought. A look of understanding crossed Bella's face, I assumed that she realized what she was doing.

"It's all right, you're safe, it's all right," I repeated to her over and over. I just wanted her to calm down, her shaking was starting to scare me. I pulled her onto my lap and tucked my cloak around her, she was probably cold enough without having to touch my freezing skin, so maybe that would help a little. Her eyes were filled with tears, what was she thinking?

"All those people," she sobbed.

Oh. I understood now.

"I know," I whispered to her. I had tried to get her out of there before anything could be heard or witnessed, but my attempt had been unsuccessful.

"It's so horrible," she continued.

"Yes, it is. I wish you hadn't had to see that."

She laid her head against my chest and wiped her eyes with my cloak. She took several deep breaths, it looked as if she was trying to calm down, which was good. I could hear footsteps approaching, and Gianna's thoughts came into my mind. _I've got to see this, she's lying in the arms_ _of a vampire and she's freaking out over what she's just seen?_

"Is there anything I can get you?" She asked as she leaned over my shoulder. I found this irritating, did she really need to be this nosy?

"No," I replied.

She nodded, and smiled at Bella. _Poor thing she looks like she has just been hit by a train. _ If she didn't get out of here she was going know what it felt like to get hit with the force of a train. Finally she walked away. I could hear Bella's breathing become more controlled and even.

"Does she know what's going on here?" Bella suddenly demanded. Her voice was so hoarse, she kept it down.

"Yes. She knows everything," I answered.

"Does she know they are going to kill her someday?" She questioned.

"She knows it's a possibility." She seemed surprised by this. I said she knew everything, didn't I? I didn't know how to explain it really, it wasn't like Gianna wanted to be killed, but there were other options. "She's hoping they'll decide to keep her.

The warm blood left her face, the lovely color which I had missed so much.

"She wants to be one of them?"

I nodded once, watching intently for her reaction.

She shuddered in my arms. "How can she want that?" I wasn't sure if she was talking to me and looking for an answer, or if it was a rhetorical question to herself. "How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of _that?_

This remark confused me, I thought Bella had wanted to be a vampire? My face twisted in confusion. I thought she wanted to be a part of our world? Or perhaps she had just been talking about the vampires with the human diet. I couldn't tell, yet again this was another time I wish I could read her mind.

She was staring at me, trying to read my expression I assumed. Her face was so perfect. I don't know how I had lived without it for so long, to think that I could've missed a lifetime of looking at her was unthinkable now that she was here in my arms.

"Oh, Edward," she suddenly cried, I had gotten lost in my thoughts about her. It killed me to see her sobbing like this.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice still heavy with anxiety. I didn't know what was wrong, so how could I help her? I tried to comfort her by rubbing her back slightly. She wrapped her arms around my neck, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Her touching me gave me some hope for forgiveness.

"Is it really sick for me to be happy right now?" her voice broke twice as she asked me. It was almost as if she had read _my_ mind, which I knew was impossible.

"I know exactly what you mean," I whispered to her. "But we have lots of reasons to be happy. For one, we're alive." I could think of a million reasons to be happy, my main one was that she was here, in my arms, alive and warm.

"Yes," she agreed. "That's a good one."

I couldn't refrain from what I wanted to say, so I said it. "And together," I said quietly. A strange look crossed her face as she nodded. I kept going, "And, with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow."

"Hopefully," she said uneasily. I couldn't understand why. Did she know something I didn't? Was something going to happen?

"The outlook is quite good," Alice said. It was almost as if she had read my mind and was trying to comfort me. "I'll see Jasper in less than twenty-four hours," she added in a tone that made me somewhat jealous, she could rely on her visions, well most of the time.

Bella stared at me. I stared straight back at her. I studied her face, re-memorizing exactly how it looked. That was kind of a stupid thing to do though because her face was already burned into my mind for forever, and with any luck I wouldn't have to rely on my memory to see her face. Maybe she would allow me to stay with her, to see her again. Her big brown eyes, under which were dark circles, lack of sleep I guessed. Next was her perfect nose, which lead down to her plump ruby lips, God how I wanted to kiss them...

"You look so tired," I told her as I traced the dark circles.

"And you look thirsty," she whispered to me.

I didn't feel very thirsty, I just wanted to stay with her like this forever. "It's nothing," I shrugged.

"Are you sure? I could sit with Alice," she offered. Was she nuts? The last thing I want is for her to leave me, even to just sit three feet away. Besides, she almost was just devoured on several counts, I could hear exactly what every single one of those bloody thirsty vampires were thinking in that room. They all wanted her blood, not as much as I did but they all had been thirsty at the time. After that near death experience...

"Don't be ridiculous," I sighed, "I've never been in better control of _that_ side of my nature than right now."

She looked at me like she was going to say something but then stopped. I wanted her to say everything that she was thinking, even if it was going to work against me. Whatever she was going to say, she didn't. She continued to stare at me, intently, almost like she was memorizing my face too.

_Edward we need to decide how we're going to get home,_ Alice thought to me. I continued to stare at Bella while I talked quietly to Alice.

"Call Carlisle and tell him to get everyone together, to make up a story, we need to go back to Forks."

"Should I go get a car then? We can just get on the next plane for back home."

"Well, wait for dark, but yes we'll need a car."

We talked quietly for a bit longer, and the entire time my eyes never left Bella's face. I was such an idiot, to ever leave her. I didn't deserve to have her in my arms. But, here she sat, on her own free will, I think...

"What was all that talk about _singers?_" Alice asked.

"_La tua cantante,_" I said.

"Yes, that," Alice said. Bella looked like she was concentrating on what we were saying.

I shrugged. "They have a name for someone who smells the way Bella does to me. They call her my_ singer_-because her blood sings for me."

Alice laughed.

Bella looked so tired, I almost wished she would fall asleep just so she could feel better. As I talked to Alice I kept leaning down and kissing Bella. I would kiss her hair, her forehead, her nose. I couldn't resist the urge, each time my lips touched her it was like electricity was flowing through us, I loved it. I kissed just about every inch of her head, but never her lips. She was letting me touch the rest of her, but I wasn't sure if I had permission or the forgiveness for the touch of her lips against mine. I didn't want to ruin the calmness between us by testing my limits. After all _I_ was the one who left, who was to say she hadn't moved on, maybe she even had a _boyfriend_. I shuddered at the thought of it. It's what I had wanted but not really, I wanted her to have a normal life, I wanted to be the one to give her a normal life but that could never be.

Alec's mind suddenly entered my head. _There they are..._

"You're free to leave now," Alec said in a friendly tone. _She smells very good, too bad she's off limits and I just ate..._ "We ask that you don't linger in the city."

"That won't be a problem," I replied icily. How dare that bastard think about my Bella that way. You're damn right we won't linger in this city because if I did I might do something drastic. Like tear his head off.

Alec smiled at us, nodded, and then took off through a new pair of doors to our left.

I helped Bella to her feet. "Follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators," Gianna told us. "The lobby is two floors down, and exits to the street. Goodbye, now," she added pleasantly. _She needs some sleep, poor thing, I know how those things go..._

I pushed all minds out of my own mind for the moment. I needed a clear head. We needed to move now, and quickly. We left through the lobby and I stared straight ahead, I was focused on leaving. Outside the party was still going, but it was getting darker. My cloak did not draw any attention now because almost the adults were dressed in dark cloak, supporting the plastic fangs in their mouths.

"Ridiculous," I muttered. I looked at Alice and gave her the go-ahead to go steal a car, she disappeared instantly.

"Where's Alice?" Bella whispered almost as if she was panicked by Alice's absence.

"She went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them this morning," I replied, wanting her to calm down.

"She's stealing a car, too, isn't she?" Bella questioned.

This made me grin, she had known our plan even though we hadn't told her. "Not until we're outside."

The entryway was quite a distance away, for Bella anyways. As we walked I wrapped my arm securely around her waist, and tried to support as

much of her weight without looking suspicious. I would have just carried her but that would have attracted too much attention, so this was the best I could do.

She shuddered as we went through the stone archway. I could hear Alice's mind and she was telling me that she was in the dark car to the right of the gate. I pulled Bella over to the car and climbed into the backseat with her. Normally, I would have insisted on driving, but I had been away from Bella for far too long. I wanted to be with her, holding her, every moment I could.

"I'm sorry," Alice apologized as she motioned to the dashboard._ It's kind of a junker..._ "There wasn't much to choose from."

Alice and her cars, the thought made me grin. "It's fine, Alice. They can't all be 911 Turbos."

"I may have to acquire one of those legally," she sighed. "It was fabulous."

"I'll get you one for Christmas," I promised her.

She turned to me and grinned, which seemed to worry Bella, most likely because we were speeding, it was dark, and the road was curvy. "Yellow," Alice told me and I nodded.

I kept my arms tight around Bella, and my cloak securely around her. She looked spent, I wanted her to sleep. Then again, I didn't. If she was sleeping I couldn't gaze into her big, brown eyes. "You can sleep now, Bella," I whispered to her. "It's over." She swallowed hard, maybe at what I had said? I wanted to know what she was thinking.

"I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired," she told me. She stared up at me. I knew the second part was a lie, but I wasn't sure about the first. Maybe she didn't want to miss any time with me? Maybe I was forgiven after all?

I put my lips to the hollow under her ear, I love how warm she felt. "Try," I encouraged her.

She shook her head at me. Persistent little Bella. I sighed.

"You're still just as stubborn." She didn't reply to that, she must have known I was right. I watched her struggle through the whole car ride to stay awake, and she succeeded. Finally, we got to the airport. Alice had bought me new clothes, and I threw my other ones away. Bella was happy that she got a fresh change of clothes and a chance to brush her teeth. Next, we flew to Rome, then we would go to Atlanta. Bella must have known, it was going to be a long trip, for she ordered a coke on the plane.

"Bella," I said disapprovingly. She had no tolerance for caffeine, and that coke was going to be packed with it.

I don't want to sleep," she reminded me. "If I close my eyes now, I'll see things I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares." The thought of her having a nightmare, did not please me, so I didn't bother to argue with her.

Alice sat on the phone with Jasper for quite sometime, I caught bits and pieces of their phone conversation, and from what I heard from Alice's mind, I didn't want to hear the rest of the conversation.

Bella kept looking like she was going to say something, but held her tongue everytime. I wanted her to say whatever it was that she was thinking, but I also didn't want to start a conversation while there was hope that she would fall asleep and get some rest. Whatever hope there was of her falling asleep was diminished though, as she kept drinking soda. I held her in my arms and traced her face over and over again. She touched mine in return. I couldn't stop myself from kissing her, everywhere, but still never her lips.

Finally, we reached the airport in Atlanta. Surprisingly, Bella was still awake. We had spent most of the plane ride in silence, we just stared at each other.

As we walked into the airport, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme were all waiting. From what I got from Carlisle's mind, Emmett and Rosalie were waiting out in the car. Bella seemed genuinely surprised by everyone being there. Alice ran right to Jasper as soon as he came into view, I already knew what was coming so I shut them out of my mind almost right away. Carlisle and Esme were in a corner, and we walked over to them, me still supporting a lot of Bella's weight.

Esme reached for Bella right away, she tried to hug her but I refused to let go of my Bella so she gave her a somewhat awkward hug.

"Thank you so much," she said quietly to Bella. Next she turned on me, and threw her arms around me. _You're so lucky I can't cry Edward Anthony..._ "You will_ never_ put me through that again," she practically growled.

The sudden change of emotions from her mind to her mouth almost made me laugh. "Sorry, Mom," I grinned, trying to sound as repentant as possible.

"Thank you, Bella," Carlisle spoke up. "We owe you." _What if she hadn't gotten there in time? What if..._ I pushed his thoughts from my mind, I didn't want to think of the mistake I had almost made.

"Hardly," Bella mumbled back. She looked as if she was about to pass out, and I felt her go a little more limp in my arms.

"She's dead on her feet," Esme scolded me as if it was my fault. I had told her to sleep hadn't I? Then again, if I hadn't gone to kill myself she would never had missed three days sleep. "Let's get her home," Esme said.

Esme and I then practically dragged Bella out of the airport, one on each side of her. Esme talked to me in her mind as we made our way out to the cars. _Rosalie is out there Edward, just so you know. Please try not to kill her..._

Even though Esme had warned me Rosalie was out there waiting, I still couldn't help form stiffening when I saw her wretched face.

_Oh, God here he goes..._ "Don't," Esme whispered to me. "She feels awful."

"She should," I replied rather loudly, and it worked, Rosalie heard me.

_Oh man, he really is pissed. I can't even begin to say how sorry I am Edward..._

Bella spoke then, in a garbled mess, "It's not her fault."

_Well, atleast Bella is listening to me..._ "Let her make amends," Esme pleaded with me. "We'll ride with Alice and Jasper."

I couldn't help but glower at Rosalie. All the rage I had in me, I tried to focus through my eyes into her head. How I wished she would just disappear, forever.

Bella must have seen me glaring at Rosalie because she spoke up then, "Please, Edward." She must not want to ride with Rosalie any more than I did. So I sighed and pulled her to the car.

_Edward, please don't kill my wife, ha, well you'd have to get through me first, but still. She really is sorry..._ Emmett thought to me, as he got into the car with Rosalie. I continued to listen to Rosalie and Emmetts' thoughts. Emmett thought to me, while Rosalie just thought about me, and being sorry. Bella laid her head against my chest, finally closing her eyes.

"Edward," Rosalie started

I didn't want to listen to her, I had already heard her excuses. "I know."

She then turned to Bella. "Bella?"

Bella opened her eyes and a look of surprise crossed her face, from Rosalie actually talking to her I imagined. "Yes, Rosalie?"

Rosalie's words flowed quickly then. "I'm so very sorry, Bella. I feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful that you were brave enough to go save my brother after what I did. Please say you'll forgive me."

Surprisingly, her words seemed sincere.

"Of course, Rosalie," Bella mumbled back. "It's not your fault at all. I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. Of course I forgive you."

It was all a bunch of mush. I even had difficulty deciphering what she said.

Emmett chuckled. "It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose."

"I'm conscious," Bella tried to say. She was so tired, all of this could have waited until later.

"Let her sleep," I said.

Finally Bella drifted off into sleep as we drove. She looked like an angel laying there in my arms. I stared at her the whole way home, and tracing her perfect lips with my fingers. I wanted to press mine to hers, but that would be wrong. She was sleeping after all. It didn't take long to get home, Emmett drove almost as fast as I did. Charlie was the only part I was worried about. I couldn't think up a story to tell him. Finally we reached Bella's house, and there was Charlie.

_I can't believe that kid is here, wait till I get my hands on him..._ Charlie thought. "Bella!" Charlie shouted to us from across the street in the doorway.

"Charlie," Bella tried to respond.

"Shh," I whispered to her. She was still so tired. "It's okay; you're home and safe. Just sleep."

Charlie was pissed. Downright pissed. "I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here," Charlie screamed at me as he ran to meet us in the yard.

"Stop it, Dad," Bella mumbled, but Charlie ignored her.

"What's wrong with her?" Charlie demanded.

I tried to keep my voice as quiet as possible. "She's just very tired, Charlie. Please let her rest."

_What did he just say? Did he just tell me what to do?..._ "Don't tell me what to do!" Charlie yelled at me. "Give her to me. Get your hands off her!" _How dare he touch her..._

I didn't want to make him even more mad, so I tried to give Bella to him, but she clung tightly to me. Charlie yanked on her arm to try and get her to let go.

"Cut it out, Dad," Bella said more loudly than before. She opened her bloodshot eyes and looked at Charlie. "Be mad at_ me_."

_Did she really think I wouldn't be? She must be crazy..._ "You bet I will be," Charlie promised her. "Get inside."

"'Kay. Let me down," she sighed.

I set her so she was standing. She took a step and her head was headed straight for the sidewalk. I quickly caught her before her face and the concrete made contact.

"Just let me get her upstairs," I told Charlie. "Then I'll leave."

"No," Bella cried. For some reason this made my dead heart flutter. She didn't want me to leave? I loved the thought of it.

"I won't be far," I promised her. I said it so low into her ear so that Charlie wouldn't hear, that I wasn't sure if she even did. She seemed to have calmed down a little bit, so I guessed she had.

Charlie glared at me as I walked into his house. _He thinks he can just walk into my house and then just leave again, ha, he's got another thing coming to him..._

I carried Bella up the stairs and into her room. She was clinging so tightly to me, that when I set her on the bed I had to pry her fingers from my shirt. It was a good thing I hqad lots of strength, because that probably would have been an extremely tough job if I had been human.

Charlie was waiting for me as soon as I got to the bottom of the stairs. "What are you doing back here? Do have any idea what you put her through? How those months after you left were? No, you don't. You have no right to come back into her life after how you left her. Get out of my house and don't ever walk through my doorway again!" Charlie screamed at me.

All I could do was nod and walk out the door.


	2. She Sleeps Like An Angel

A/N: Ok, so as I stated in the story summary, this is my first fanfic and any advice is welcome! I was really iffy about continuing on with this story, A.) because everyone's opinions are different B.) It might not be the greatest thing ever. But after some heavy consideration and a couple of reviews from the first chapter I decided to go for it. I am posting this chapter, and we'll see how the reviews go, if I don't get any well then that must just be a hint on how much I suck! So thanks again for reading and enjoy!

**SHE SLEEPS LIKE AN ANGEL**

I walked down the path, outside her house, and went directly across the street.

I must be crazy.

Even though I knew Charlie's words would never keep me away from Bella, MY Bella, they still stung. I did not want her father to hate me, but he had every right to.

I cannot imagine what life had been like for him after I left. I recalled the images in Alice's mind, back in Italy. The images from when her and Charlie had sat in Bella's kitchen and had talked about how Bella had been after I left. His daughter, who he did not exactly know all that well, had had her heart ripped out. Charlie was so used to living on his own, he probably had no idea what had been going on with her. But, he still had to put up with it, and try to help. All the moping, the crying, the withdrawing from her friends, all of it. And I had been responsible for it, so it is no wonder why when I showed up carrying her, as she looked like she was dying, he had freaked out.

I wanted to search through Charlie's mind and really see the images of Bella acting this way, but somehow I restrained myself. I wanted her to tell me. And if she didn't then that meant either she did not want me to know, out of sheer embarassment or it really had never happened. I hoped for the latter of the two. I wanted to believe that none of what Charlie told Alice was true. I simply cannot believe my Bella to be that easily broken.

Bella... I stared up at her window, eventually I began to climb the tree, almost at a human pace. I propped myself up outside her window and peered in.

Charlie was kneeling next to her bed, his head resting on his arm, holding one of her hands. His shoulders shook with sobs. _Oh, Bella, I thought I had lost you... First Harry and then I thought you too... My baby girl, please don't ever leave me again..._ Charlie's thoughts sang out to me. I had to block them out, for I was thinking almost the same thing. I had been so close to losing her forever. I had been so idiotic, but I would never make that same mistake again, never.

I watched Charlie for a while longer. Charlie stroked Bella's hair as he calmed down, somewhat. _Don't think you're not in trouble though, young lady, because you most definately are..._

I almost smiled to myself as I listened to the change in Charlie's mind. My poor Bella, she had done a lot, RISKED a lot to go and save me. I was going to make it up to her though. I would make sure that it didn't really feel like she was ground, for what looked like was going to be the rest of her life. I would constantly be kicking myself because all of this was because of me and my arrogance.

I watched Charlie stroke Bella's arm and pull her covers up a little higher, a father with his sleeping child. An odd feeling washed over me as I realized that would never be me. I could never give Bella that life no matter how badly I wanted to. She deserved so much better than me, someone who could keep her warm and give her a family. I think if I could have cried, right then I would have been. It was too late now though, I want Bella and she is mine, I cannot bring myself to leave her again. I may not be able to give her a normal life, but going by the things I saw in Alice's mind, then atleast I could give her **_A_** life. Charlie had basically described her as the walking dead (HA!), so some life would be better than nothing, if she would take me back that is...

Finally, Charlie got up and kissed Bella's forehead. He walked to her door and took one last glance and then shut the door.

FINALLY! I slipped in through her window and stood there for a moment, deciding what I should do. I did not know if she would be comfortable with me lying next to her in bed, like we used to. I still didn't know if I was forgiven, and the last thing I wanted was for her to wake up and scream at me for coming near her like that. But I could not force myself to go sit in the rocking chair, I had been away from her for far too long, and sitting even six feet away felt like it would rip my heart to shreds longing for her.

So, I retook Charlie's spot, and kneeled by the edge of her bed. I laid my chest on the bed and propped my chin on my arm, and just stared. I could never get over her beauty. She must be crazy to think she was so ordinary, her beautiful, deep, chocolate eyes, her full red lips, and her lovely blush. She was gorgeous. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

She was in a deep sleep, her body making up for the last three days that it had gone without it. I so desperately wanted to climb into bed with her and lay my head on her chest and listen to her heart. I could hear it perfectly from where I sat, but still, the idea of touching her...

Every once in a while I would hear Charlie's mind as he wandered up the steps. _I'll just check on her... _ With lightning quick movements, I slipped back out the window and shut it all before Charlie even started reaching for her door handle.

He did this about once every hour. I found it quite annoying, but at the

same time I understood completely. His daughter had just returned after disappearing for three days, in the arms of the "kid" who had left her basically for dead months ago. Of course, he would be worried about her and would want to know that she was still there.

Finally, Charlie decided to go to bed. He came in one last time and kissed Bella's forehead lightly. _Goodnight, darling..._

After he had left, I slipped into her room once again. I took my spot again by her bed. I looked at the clock. It was 10:47 p.m. She had been sleeping for twelve hours. I missed her lovely chocolate eyes, I wanted them to open so I could gaze deep into them.

I couldn't resist the urge to touch her so I began to play with her hair. I twisted it and stroked it. Her hair was so soft and it shone as I shifted it into the moonlight. Next, I moved to her forehead, dragging a finger from one side to the other and down her cheek to her chin- right below her bottom lip. The urge to kiss her right then was almost impossible to fight, but somehow I managed.

I was such an idiot. To leave Bella was so...there wasn't even a word to describe it. If I ever tried it again it would be like suicide, I realized how much I couldn't live without her. The pain was so unbearable, even just thinking about it, churned my gut and made my dead heart crumble. Never again Bella...I promise. I had made the mistake once, but that would be the one and only time. Speaking of time, it was passing quickly, hopefully she would wake up soon. I was getting excited, soon I was going to gaze into those brown orbs...

Then, it hit me. I was reading way to much into this. She had never said that she forgave me. What if she woke up and told me to get out? What would I do? I can't live without her. Suddenly, I didn't want her to wake up. This way as she slept was perfect. She couldn't reject me if she wasn't conscious. I could stay by her side for the rest of forever as she slept, but if she was awake, she could send me away if she wanted. I pressed my lips to her forehead lightly

Uh-oh, moment of truth.

Her breathing pattern changed and increased at my touch. My Bella began to wake...


	3. Dreaded Question

**A/N: Ok, sorry for such a long wait for an update!! School has really been kicking my butt and now softball has started and I've been really caught up in the Red Eye movie section, but enough with the excuses- I'm one of those people that when I start something I need to finish it or it will bother me to death. I took some advice and went back and redid chapter two. I tried my best to make Edward's thoughts more formal, and I'm sorry if they still sound like a normal teenagers but hey that's all I am so yeah, and I also tried to explain how he knows about how Bella was after he left, so please go back and read that then read this...**

**Enjoy and Review!**

**DREADED QUESTION**

It looked as though Bella was struggling to wake, or perhaps she was struggling to stay asleep. Maybe she didn't want herself to wake up either. Oh, dear God, if you really do exist please let her still love me... I was absolutely petrified. What if she told me to leave and never come back? The suspense was killing me, so to speak.

Bella sighed and then slowly pried her eyes open. "Oh!" she gasped and threw her hands over her eyes. Oh no she really wasn't happy to see me at all. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe I should have given her time to return to her "normal" self and then came back. After a split second though, she opened her eyes and looked at me. Her expression was so hard to read and a thought started to cross my mind, perhaps it wasn't that she was wasn't happy to see me, but maybe I had just scared her.

"Did I frighten you?" I asked in a low voice. I was so anxious, hoping for her to say 'yes'. If she said yes, it would give me hope, if not I would have to dig and find the reason for her reaction to seeing me upon her awakening. She used to wake up to me all the time after all...

She blinked twice, trying to shake off her sleep I hoped, and looked deep in thought. Oh how I wanted to get into that mind of hers, just one word, please, anything.

"Oh, _crap_," Bella said with a thick voice. What could she possibly be thinking, it was a yes or no question.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked, still anxious and waiting for my answer. She frowned at me and this only increased my wanting to know what was going on inside that head of hers.

"I'm dead, right?" she moaned. "I _did_ drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie." What on earth was she talking about? Oh, she must have thought this was a dream or something.

"You're not dead," I frowned.

"Then why am I not waking up?" she challenged. My point proven that she thought she was dreaming.

"You _are_ awake, Bella," I told her.

"Sure, sure," she shook her head. "That's what you want me to think, And then it will be worse when I do wake up. _If_ I wake up, which I won't because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake..."

I had to think of something to say to ease her mind. 'I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare." I gave her a grim smile. "But I can't imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit many murders while I was away?"

She grimaced at me, "Obviously not. If I was in hell, you wouldn't be with me."

I sighed. That was Bella for you, always trying to make me look like some kind of saint or something. If I died, or did whatever it is that we do, I most certainly not be in heaven as she implied I would be. My past would never allow it, I would get to the big pearly gates and God would laugh in my face, asking what I thought I was doing there.

Bella sat there for a moment, collecting her thoughts from the look of it and I couldn't help but stare at her. Her blood smelled so sweet. I watched as the color rose in her cheeks. She was beautiful when she slept, but now that I could peer into those chocolate orbs, my cold heart practically melted. She was gorgeous.

She interrupted my thoughts, which was maybe a good thing, they do after all every once in a while, go places they probably should not. "Did all of that really happen, then?"

I was glad to see that she finally seemed to be coming around to the whole 'you're awake' discussion. "That depends." Yes, you did risk your life, family, friends, everything, to fly to Italy and save me from being such an idiot. Yes, you were almost sucked dry by the some of the most powerful vampires to exist. Yes, I did leave you-but now I'm back. "If you're referring to us nearly being massacred in Italy, then, yes."

"How strange," she replied. "I really went to Italy. Did you know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?" I rolled my eyes. She obviously wasn't all with me, if she was just concerned about how far she had gone, she had bigger things to think about, like almost dying for example.

"Maybe you should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."

"I'm not tired anymore." She looked like she was fully awake now. "What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?"

I glanced quickly at the clock, it read 1:08 a.m. She started to stretch, I'm sure her body was aching after such a long sleep. It probably had not helped that she hadn't really moved at all during that time. "It's just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours."

"Charlie?" she asked.

I frowned, remembering our "conversation" from earlier that day. "Sleeping. You should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now." I thought about that for a second, and almost chuckled. "Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in the window...But, still, the intent was clear."

"Charlie banned you from the house?" She asked. She looked like she did not believe it at first but then she looked almost angry. Silly, Bella. "Did you expect anything else?"

She looked really mad now. I could not hear what was going on in her mind, but I thought I had a pretty good idea of what it could possibly be. If my assumptions were correct, Charlie would be in for it next time Bella saw him.

"What's the story?" Bella suddenly asked. Hmm, I must have been wrong, that obviously hadn't been what she had been thinking.

"What do you mean?"

"What am I telling Charlie? What's my excuse for disappearing for...how long was I gone, anyway?" She appeared to be counting in her head, but I already knew the answer.

"Just three days." I smiled at her. _Just_ three days. I made it sound like it should have been longer. In all honesty, though, I had not even hardly thought about what to tell Charlie about Bella's absence. The results had not been all that great. "Actually, I was hoping you might have a good explanation. I've got nothing."

She groaned at me. "Fabulous."

"Well, maybe Alice will come up with something," I tried. The offer seemed to comfort her. We sat in silence for a moment, while she appeared to be calculating in her head.

"So," she began, looking at me with an indecipherable look on her face. "What have you been doing, up until three days ago?"

I had been dreading this question. I knew it had been inevitable, but I had wanted to try and avoid it as long as possible. It just figures that she would bring it up almost right away. That's my Bella. Oh, God, what am I going to say?

**A/N: Not the longest chapter in the world, but I felt bad for taking a month to update so I wanted to get this out ASAP. So I hoped you liked it and please review, they keep me going, no reviewno updates, so please review so I know someone out there is reading this!**


	4. Wake Up!

**A/N: Okay, so I got a quicker update up, now you need to read and review. There isn't really much to say about this chapter, I'm going to try my hardest so here you go, please don't hate me if you think I did it wrong...**

**A/N: Alright, I redid this chapter because like I said in the old version-I hated the way that one turned out! I was thinking about just going on to the next scene, but I could not get how crappy that chapter was so I had to re-do it, otherwise, it would have drove me nuts and probably lead me to ruin the kiss scene, so I tried to use everyone's constructive criticism and make it a better chapter. Please read and review! It's the only way I can make this better! Team work people!!**

**Enjoy!**

**WAKE UP!**

What was I going to say? I could not just admit to her that I had tried to find Victoria. That I had tried and failed to make her pay for what James had done to my Bella. So I lied, some what. "Nothing terribly exciting."

It was not a complete lie because it really had not been exciting. It had been nerve racking. Also, it had been depressing. I had been trying to occupy my mind with things other than Bella. I had told her that my kind was easily distracted, and that had been a lie. I knew the moment the words left my lips that I would not be able to just keep myself from thinking about her, not without a struggle. Everytime I thought about it I almost grinned inwardly at the irony. I had been trying to avenge the one thing I wanted to distract myself from, therefore just reminding myself of Bella every single moment.

"Of course not," she mumbled. Uh-oh, maybe she did not believe my semi-lie. I did not want to tell her about tracking Victoria, she had been through more than enough in the last couple of days, and worrying about what I had done would not benefit her in any way. I wanted to just leave it at that and move on to another subject, but in the back of my mind, the look on her gorgeous face and the tone of her voice, nagged to know why that was her response.

"Why are you making that face?" I asked.

"Well..." She pursed her lips, debating it looked like. I didn't want her to make that face either, it hid her rosy, full lips, and I loved looking at them. "If you were, after all, just a dream, that's exactly the kind of thing you would say. My imagination must be used up."

We were back to square one with the whole 'I'm dreaming' thing again. Why did I have to be so inquisitive about her reaction? I should have just changed the subject when I had had the chance. I sighed, I could have gotten away with my answer if I had not questioned her about her response, now I had to tell her, I could not have her thinking she was dreaming this all up. "If I tell you, will you finally believe that you're not having a nightmare?"

"Nightmare!" She repeated my word with emphasized scorn. I was not about to start up another argument like the previous Heaven/Hell one, it was bad enough I had started up the 'I'm dreaming' one, so I waited for her to answer me. I didn't have to read her mind to know she was going to say yes, but maybe I would get lucky and she would let me off the hook...not likely, but a guy could hope, right? "Maybe," she said. "If you tell me."

It was so hard to tell her what I had been doing. I really did not want to bring up Victoria at this time, I wanted to save it for another day, when things had calmed down. "I was..." I wanted to wait before telling her, life was too stressful for my angel right now. I would tell her the whole truth at a later date, so I came up with another semi-lie. "Hunting." Tracking and hunting were pretty similar, so it worked-in my mind atleast.

"Is that the best you can do?" Shoot, I was caught again. Perhaps I could work with my semi-lie and twist it so I did not look like a liar. The last thing I wanted was for my Bella to not trust me, but then again I didn't know if she did as of right now or not, after what I had done to her.

I searched for words in my head to make this work. "I wasn't hunting for food..." Think, think, think. I scrambled for words and then I decided to just be honest. As much as I wanted her to not have to worry about this, I did not see how fibbing about it would help either. "I was actually trying my hand at..." I hoped she would take this well. Then again, I did not have to tell her what I had been tracking, so I decided to be vague. "Tracking." Now all I had to do was keep her from knowing just exactly who I had been tracking. I needed to distract her. "I'm not very good at it."

She seemed intrigued by this. She probably was shocked to realize there was something that I wasn't great at. I never did understand why she thought I was the good at everything. "What were you tracking?" she asked.

That Bella of mine, always asking the questions I hoped she would not. "Nothing of consequence." That too, was the truth. By tracking Victoria, I had not gotten any results. It had been a waste of my time-not that there wasn't plenty of that to go around-and mainly had hurt the most important person in my life.

"I don't understand." Of course she would not understand, I barely understood what I was saying. I knew she was not going to fully understand it until she knew who I had been tracking.

"I-" I took a deep breath. I was just causing my Bella more stress by confusing her. She needed to know the truth, the truth about how sorry I was and how I would never leave her again. The truth about how I really had had no idea how big of a threat Victoria was. The truth about how every single moment I had been gone had been pure torture, and how it had been a worthless attempt on my part.

I was not going to hold back anything now, she needed to know. "I owe you an apology." That was an understatement. After seeing how she had responded to me leaving her, that was far from the truth, and I needed to correct that. "No, of course I owe you much, much more than that." We could get into specifics of just what exactly I owed her later, but now I needed to get all of this out. "But you have to know that I had no idea." My words were flowing so fast, it was hard to understand myself, and as much as I wanted to slow down so she could hear every bit of what I had to say, my body wouldn't allow it. It just kept pouring out of my mouth. "I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind." Another understatement, even the word disaster would be an understatement for this case. "I thought it was safe for you here. So safe." This was true, not very brilliant on my part, but true. "I had no idea that Victoria," I practically growled at the sound of her name. "Would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to James's thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him." I recalled back to that day in the meadow. Everything had been so perfect then, the scent of Bella had been so intoxicating that day. I should have read Victoria's thoughts deeper than I had. But James had been the leader, therefore the biggest threat, and when he reacted to Bella's smell the way he did, it had been like everyone else had disappeared and it was just me, Bella and James. "I think I realize why now-she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feeling about him-that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there."

I felt like I was getting sidetracked from my main point, and I needed to get back on track. "Not that there's any excuse for what I left you to face." It was all pouring out, no lies, just the cold hard truth. "When I heard what you told Alice-what she saw herself-when I realized that you had put your life in the hands of _werewolves_, immature, volatile, the worst thing out there besides Victoria herself," I shuddered-there was that name again. I took the opportunity to think, and slow down for a minute. "Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel you safe in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse for-"

"Stop," she cut me short. I really did feel sick, and I hurt so badly. I could not express how much she meant to me and how horrible I was for leaving for her. And why had she stopped me? Did she not want to hear what I had to say? I need to know her thoughts, the silence from where her mind should have been was driving me insane!

"Edward," she said with almost a pained tone to her voice. "This has to stop now. You can't think about things that way. You can't let this...this guilt...rule your life. You can't take responsibility for the things that happen to me here. None of it is your fault, it's just part of how life _is_ for me. So, if I trip in front of a bus or whatever it is next time, you have to realize that it's not your job to take the blame." I was confused, what was she trying to get at, because no matter what she said it did not change the fact that I could not live without her. "You can't just go running off to Italy because you feel bad that you didn't save me. Even if I had jumped off that cliff to die, that would have been my choice, and _not your fault_." Ha, silly Bella, that's not why I went to the Volturi, I thought you knew that? "I know it's your...your nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but you really can't let that make you go to such extremes! It's very irresponsible-think of Esme and Carlisle and-" She stopped to catch her breath. She was right, it had been irresponsible of me, but Carlisle and Esme were not what kept me existing, Bella was, and if she was gone, there really was nothing to stay for. I love Carlisle and Esme, and the rest of the family to death, but Bella was my everything, I thought I had made that clear.

"Isabella Marie Swan," I whispered, I still couldn't believe what I was hearing, it almost made me mad that she had not listened to what I had told her about not existing without her. "Do you believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me _because I felt guilty?_"

Her face settled with a look of incomprehension. That was obviously what she had been believing, I couldn't read her mind, but her face said it all. "Didn't you?"

Her question wasn't very specific, I did not want her to think that I had not felt guilty, because I had. When Rosalie had told me about Bella's "death" it had felt like someone had ripped my heart to pieces. All I could think was that I should not have left, and that maybe if I hadn't left then perhaps she would not have died. At that moment I could not find any sensible reason for leaving her in the first place. "Feel guilty? Intensely so. More than you can comprehend." All I had wanted to do was tear my own self apart and light the pieces on fire myself. I was not going to tell her that though, especially not after how she had just reacted about the whole Volturi incident.

That must not have been exactly what she had been talking about. "Then...what are you saying? I don't understand."

I was going to have to clear this all up. "Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought you were dead." I started to soften up just at the thought of Bella lifeless. It started making me feel even sicker. It brought up the whole changing her subject. I didn't want her to die, I wanted her to stay with me for forever but the only way that could happen, the only way to keep her for forever, would be to change her. But I couldn't take her soul, dooming her to this hell, it would be too selfish of me. There I was getting sidetracked again, that was another topic for another time. She needed to know why I had gone to the Volturi. "Even if I'd had no hand in your death." There is was again. Bella. Dead. It made me shutter to think about it. "Even if it _wasn't_ my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been more careful-I should have spoken to Alice directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie. But really, what was I supposed to think when the boy said Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds?" Then it hit me.

"The odds...," I muttered again. My mind flashed back to watching Romeo and Juliet with Bella.

_"You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo."_

_"What's wrong with Romeo?" she had asked, offended._

_"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline-don't you think that makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his own happiness any more thoroughly?"_

I am such a hypocrite. "The odds are always stacked against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize Romeo again." I had criticized Romeo over and over, but really I had done the exact same thing, tore apart me and Bella myself, mistake after mistake, the biggest one being actually leaving her.

"But I still don't understand," she said. "That's my whole point. So what?"

What? Now I was the one who did not understand. "Excuse me?"

"So what if I _was_ dead?"

She obviously did not remember what I had told her about not being able to go on without her. "Don't you remember anything I told you before?"

"I remember _everything_ you told me," she said with added emphasize on everything. She must be talking about our talk in the woods before I left. I was not talking about my lies that I had told her that day.

I brushed her lower lip lightly with the tips of my fingers. The heat was simply amazing. I wished that it was my lips touching hers, not my fingers. Somehow touching her made her scent even stronger. "Bella, you seem to be under a misapprehension." I closed my eyes. I did not even realize that I had started shaking my head, until I opened my eyes again. I hated discussing these types of things with her, the thought of Bella not existing put an awful feeling inside of me, why couldn't she grasp that concept? "I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

"I am..." She seemed to search for the right word until she settled on one that fit what she felt. I wanted to know what she was going to say, yet again, it was another time I begged inwardly to hear her thoughts. I got the same answer I always got: nothing. It felt like an eternity before she finally came up with one "Confused"

I gazed deep into her eyes, still trying to find the voice to her mind. I needed to know what was going on in there, why she was confused. Perhaps she was still talking about our conversation in the woods. I needed to tell her it was all a bunch of lies. "I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be."

She froze and held her breath. She looked like she was about to shut down, so I shook her shoulder, trying to snap her out of it. That didn't come out the way I had wanted it to, I had been talking about the lies in the woods. I had to think of a new approach to this. "Let me finish! I'm a good liar, but still, for you to believe me so quickly." I winced just recalling the look on her face. She had looked so...so numb, she had believed me, I knew that much. "That was...excruciating."

She still sat frozen. Bella, please believe me! I could not understand why this was so hard for her to believe. I was pouring everything out and she still wasn't responding...

"When we were in the forest, when I was telling you goodbye," I continued, still staring at her intently. She appeared as though she was struggling internally-what was going on in her head?? I needed her to talk to me, to respond, to blink, anything! It scared me the way she was acting, if I hadn't been able to hear her heart beating, I would have questioned whether or not she was breathing.

"You weren't going to let go," I whispered. I saw her face in my head again, it was so painful. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it"-if only she knew how true it was, I only did it to protect her, I thought it was the right thing to do. I need her to believe me-"it felt like it would kill me to do it-but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life."-Bella, please, I did not want you to suffer, please believe me-"I hoped that, if you thought _I'd_ moved on, so would you."

"A clean break," she whispered. Finally! She was responding, understanding, this was good, progress is good.

"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible-that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry-sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry." Something was still nagging at the back of my mind, I needed to ask her, I needed to know...

"But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?" I could not count the number of times I told her I loved her, that is why I could not figure out how she had let one word negate all those countless times.

She didn't reply. I assumed from shock from what I had said. I wanted to know the answer, no, I needed to know. "I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly _believed_ that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept-as if there were any way that _I _could exist without needing _you_!"

She still was not moving, so I shook her shoulder again. What was wrong with her? Did she want me to leave? Was I upsetting her? Why wouldn't she talk to me?? "Bella," I sighed. "Really what were you thinking!"

At that she began to cry. One moment she is frozen, looking like she's incapable of moving ever again, and the next she is crying! That's Bella for you, totally unpredictable. That was something about her that I loved, though. I loved everything about my Bella, but not being able to hear her mind always made her a surprise and inconsistent.

"I knew it," she sobbed. "I _knew_ I was dreaming."

Back to that?? "You're impossible," I said with a laugh that was supposed to come out more comforting than it did. We couldn't get back on that argument-again. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me?"-I'd just have to try the most simple explanation-"You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I _have_ always loved you, and I _will_ always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy." I had just pour my heart out to her, I did not know what else to tell her, I had just told her the truth several times, and I was beginning to think I might need to try different languages soon to get her to understand.

She continued to cry and just shook her head. I was beginning to lose all hope that I could get this through her head. "You don't believe me, do you?" I whispered. It hurt me that she would not believe me. "Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?"

"It never made sense for you to love me," her voice broke twice. "I always knew that." It almost knocked the wind out of me. I'd had enough, this was enough, I was going to get this through her head once and for all. My eyes narrowed, and I clenched my jaw.

"I'll prove you're awake," I promised her. I knew exactly what to do. If my words were not going to make her see, then I would use my body. I locked her face in between my hands, and refused to let go, even when she tried to turn her head. I almost smiled inwardly, this way I would get her to come to her senses, and I would steal away a small pleasure from her lips. I had begun to bring my face to hers when she spoke.

"Please don't," she whispered. I obeyed by stopping, but did not pull away. I was so close, she smelled so good, I wanted her so badly. My lips had to have been a half an inch away from hers, the heat radiating off of her lips was so warm and inviting. I needed to pull myself together and stay on task.

"Why not?" I demanded. I intentionally breathed right on her. I knew perfectly well the effects it had on her. She used to tell me how good I smelled and how _my_ scent made her head swim, perhaps it was like how she smelled to me.

"When I wake up-" There was that dreaming stuff again, I went to argue with her but she caught her mistake and tried to fix it. "Okay, forget that one-when you leave again, it's going to be hard enough without this, too."

I pulled back, not a whole lot though, only about an inch, and stared at her. I needed to clear this up now. I was not going to leave her, and I wanted to know, did she want me to? Did she move on, like I planned for her to? Or had I hurt her so much that she could no longer trust me?

"Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so...hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you _have_ moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be...quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please-just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" I whispered. Please say 'yes' please, please, please...

"What kind of idiotic question is that?" Don't change the subject on me, Bella, I need to know.

"Just answer it. Please." It was a moment of truth. I was not quite sure if I had been completely honest with her, because I was not sure whether or not I would contest her decision to love someone else. Actually, I was fairly sure I would, but that was besides the point. I was riding on the hope that she would say 'yes, I can still love you'.

She gave me a dark look. Where did that come from? I could not interpret that look at all, perhaps she was going to tell me to leave, and never come back. I was wrong. "The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you-and there's nothing you can do about it!" Thank God, she did still love me. I was no longer afraid of the unknown, and at the moment it didn't matter whether or not she was awake, because she said still loved me. I forgot the plan, and went to claim a gift only the Angel of my life could give me.

"That's all I needed to hear."

**A/N: I think this attempt turned out much better than the first, how about you guys? I dont know thats just me, but then again I HATED the way that first attempt turned out, I wish I would have just deleted it right then and there instead of wasting your time and posting it. I hope you're not disappointed with the way this chapter turned out, cuz I certainly feel a lot better about it, so on to the kiss...but only if you review!! I need to know what you people are thinking**

**Manialoll Thank you for the constructive criticism, it was one of the main reasons I redid this chapter, I think you pointed out exactly what I couldn't put my finger on for why that chapter felt so wrong. I hated that chapter and now I know why!**

**O r i g i n a l1 Thank you so much for the review-it was amazing, and eye-opening, you played another big part in the re-doing of this chapter and thank you because I think it turned out better and that makes me feel better!**

**Vampirenvy9 Thanks for the review! I wasn't exactly sure what you meant when you said Edward was out of character in the old version of this chapter, was he too harsh, too clingy? Too...? I didn't know so let me know, hopefully I fixed it in this version! I tried to so hopefully it worked...**

**Epona04 Thanks for the compliment, I'm so picky about my things and sometimes it really drives me crazy! **

**4ever1 and UbEr-BaD-jUjU Thanks for the reviews, every writer needs encouragement!**

**So, once again people, I hope you liked this version better and please review it doesn't take that long and it motivates me to update, and the next scene is gonna take a lot of motivation hint hint lol **

**Much love,**

**Lust4Edward**


	5. The Kiss

**A/N: Okay guys, sorry for such a long wait! I was a bit nervous about doing this part of the story, because well its the best part and I didn't want to disappoint/piss off anyone if I did it wrong. So that held me back, plus I've had a lot of homework, and softball practice and games. And this isnt my only story so that didn't really help this out much either. But anyways enough with the excuses for why this took so long, I've kept you waiting long enough so here it is...**

**THE KISS**

She had said it, she really had said it. My Angel had said that she loved me. That she always had. That she always would. Nothing could have brought me down from this high, Bella was the strongest drug out there. She really was my brand of heroin.

Her scent had been teasing me ever since we had first been reunited, I could handle it and refrain myself but still had had to think about being calm. The moment I closed the half an inch gap between us, I forgot completely about my self control and gave myself away to the moment. Our kiss was not careful, and if I had been thinking like I had used to, I would have pulled myself off of myself for trying such a stunt.

But this was no stunt. I was in complete control. I had never felt more so, and I knew that any protests and arguments Bella had had were now gone. This was confirmed when her hands met my face. My skin tingled under her touch. It felt so good, how I could have ever gotten the will to leave this was completely beyond me.

The heat from her was comforting and I knew this was the way it was meant to be, and slowly I slipped onto the bed, pressing myself against her, every inch of myself. I covered her entire body with mine and tried to close every gap inbetween us. The feeling was amazing. Normally I would have felt bad about stealing away her warmth and covering her with the cold blanket that was my body. She had always used to tell me that it was 'fine' and she didn't mind, and then that gorgeous blush of hers would creep across her face. So, for once, I listened to her and didn't let myself feel bad about covering her with my coldness.

Her hands roamed across my face, and mine hers. I memorized every pore in her skin, every eye lash, every inch, nothing escaped my hands. I went numb to the world, nothing mattered, only Bella-my Bella. When she kissed me back it only encouraged my behavior, and I wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, all I knew was that I liked it.

In the brief moments our lips weren't locked, I couldn't stop myself from whispering her name. It just came out, I was not embarassed though, I did not really care to tell the truth. I wanted her to know that she was my everything, that I wanted her in so many ways, and that I loved the sound of her name and how nicely it rolled off my tongue. There were so many things I wanted to tell her and that I wanted her to know.

My mind was racing, but all I could think was 'She loves me! She loves me! SHE LOVES ME!!' over and over again. My dead heart could have exploded from the joy I felt. In fact I was sure that it was going to if I kept going.

I wanted the moment to last for forever, I could kiss her until the end of all eternity, but as much as I didn't need to breathe I knew she needed to. So in regard to her health I eventually I found the will to pull away from her. I could tell by the way she was breathing that she was dizzy, and her gasping noises gave it away to a certain degree too.

Even though I could hear her heart perfectly from where I was, I still couldn't resist the urge to lay my head the head on her chest and listen to her heart rate return to normal.

Nothing could ruin this, not all the Victorias, Volturis, or Charlies in the world combined. Bella was mine, and I would make sure that it stayed that way, she might not know it but when she told me that she would always love me, she was making a deal with me that I knew would never fall through. I would make sure. I had messed up once, but never again.

I smiled to myself as I thought about what she had said, and the way her lips moved against mine. I listened to her heart and its rythmn, trying to sync myself with her breathing.

She loves me, she really loves me...

**A/N: Alright, so hopefully you guys liked it, I'm not exactly sure if I even like it so I dunno but I tried my hardest so please don't hate me if you dont think it's up to par-I tried and that's all I ask of myself, but hopefully it was good enough. Once again I'm sorry for such a long wait for this sucker, but hey, life calls and you gotta answer. So please move your arrow down to that little GO button and leave me a review telling me what you thought. The reviews keep me going and I promise the next update will be nowhere near as long a wait- who knows maybe if there are enough reviews I'll update tomorrow? LOL Plus that will let me know if I need to maybe redo this chapter like I did to the last one. Anyways, I love you all and thanks for reading this! Please don't forget to review!**

**Much Love,**

**Lust4Edward**


	6. Thirty Ain't So Bad

**A/N: I'm back! **

**DISCLAIMER: This belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Edward's interpretations are mine, they may be similar to Stephenie's but besides her who really knows? LOL you may recognize some things from eclipse but it made it easier to interpret ANYWHO...on to the story, and dont forget to review!**

I was in...there was not even a word to describe it; Heaven could not do it justice, but I felt that was the closest word to it. I could feel her chest rising and falling, her breathing evened out and her heart pacing itself after the work out it had just gone through. Something in the back of my head began to throb as the need to say something grew stronger, clawing its was out.

"By the way," I tried to sound as casual as possible, I wanted her to believe me when I told her. "I'm not leaving you."

Silence. Her unbelief rang though out it. She honestly must have still thought I was going to leave her, the thought made me cringe. Life without Bella again...I fought back a shutter that threatened to tear up my spine.

I lifted my head to look at her, she needed to believe I was being truthful. Our gazes locked as I tried to boar into her mind how serious I was. "I'm not going anywhere." Well that wasn't true completely, I would go places, but not without her at my side. "Not without you. I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you-keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do _something_, and it seemed like leaving was the only way."

I _had _ thought of other ways. I had thought about pushing her away, acting indifferent to her. I actually had tried that before I had left. But it hurt me to see her hurt. I could never stay and not be with her, it would have torn me apart starting at the core. Perhaps she would have learned to hate me, which stung to think about, and she would have been better off. I however, did not have the strength to do that to her. So leaving had been my only option, as hard enough as it had been, I had thought it would be best. Ha, how wrong I had been! I had run away and left her with danger knocking at her door.

I continued on. "If I hadn't thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only _you _could be more important than what I wanted...what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay-thank heaven for that! It seems you _can't _ be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us."

"Don't promise me anything," she whispered. I wished I could read her mind and see what she was thinking. I had just bared my soul to her and told her everything that had happened when I had been being idiotic. It almost made me angry that she still did not believe me.

"You think I'm lying to you now?" I did not know how to get her to believe me.

"No-not lying." She was shaking her head. Oh how I begged to be let in. She seemed to be examining thoughts in her head. "You could mean it...now. But what about tomorrow, when you think about all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?"

I flinched, her words taking me back to her birthday. Hearing the thoughts that had gone through Jasper's head in those few moments had been excruciating. Seeing him broken down and beating himself up had been even worse. The thought of almost losing Bella right then had taken the cherry though. I also thought about what she had said before that. I would never change my mind, when my Angel touched me she felt stone, and that's how we vampires are. Everything is set the way it is, and when drastic changes-such as Bella- happen, it is a permanent change; it's set in stone. When you chip a rock, it is forever chipped is it not? Sure you could try and fix the chip, but it never really is.

She continued on, interrupting my thoughts. "It isn't as if you hadn't thought the first decision through, is it? You'll end up doing what you think is right."

I almost laughed. "I'm not as strong as you give me credit for." Didn't she hear me when I had said I was selfish? It didn't matter how wrong it might be, I wanted Bella and now I would never leave her-if that was what she wanted. "Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me; I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through a single hour. It was only a matter of time-and not much of it-before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that."

"Be serious, please," she grimaced. She had no idea how serious I was. I would get down onto my knees and beg for the next three years straight if she wanted. I would kiss every single one of her ten little toes and do whatever she wanted for the rest of eternity for how serious I was.

I glared, "Oh, I am. Will you please try to hear what I''m telling you? Will you let me attempt to explain what you mean to me?" A paused, to gauge her reaction and determine whether or not she was listening to what I had to say.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars-points of light and reason." I was going to explain to her how important she was so me and how I could not stand to live without her. "...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

She sat for a moment, seemingly arguing with herself. "Your eyes will adjust," she finally mumbled.

"That's just the problem-they can't" Why did she have to be difficult?

"What about your distractions?"

I laughed to show her how foolish that idea was. "Just part of the lie, love. There was no distraction from the...the _agony_. My heart hasn't beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone-like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you."

"That's funny," she muttered.

What was she talking about? How on earth was that funny? I arched an eyebrow in confusion, "Funny?"

"I meant strange-I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long." She inhaled deeply, almost as if to prove her point. "And my heart. That was definitely lost."

I closed my eyes and laid my head back on her chest, listening to her heart again. She had felt that same as I had? Now I felt bad again- not that my guilt would ease up anyways-because then I really, truly did know how she had felt. I felt her cheek press against my hair, her warmth flowing around me.

"Tracking wasn't a distraction then?" A curious note in her voice. Her heart's beating became slightly more wild, throbbing.

"No," i sighed. "That was never a distraction. It was an obligation." I didn't want to talk about Victoria, she made my skin crawl and the venom in my system boil.

"what does that mean?" she asked obviously confused.

"It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn't going to let her get away with..." The thought of Bella last spring made me stop. "Well like I said, I was horrible at it. I traced her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false lead down to Brazil-and really she came here." I groaned my failure. "I wasn't even on the right continent! And all the while, worse than my worse fears-"

She cut me off. "You were hunting _Victoria?_" she practically screamed.

Charlie's thoughts were slightly interrupted as his dream was invaded with Bella's partial shriek. It wasn't enough to wake him though, and soon he was snoring away yet again dreaming of the lake outside of town being filled the largest large mouth bass.

"Not well," I answered, getting back on track. I didn't understand why she was upset. "But I'll do better this time. She won't be tainting perfectly good air by breathing in and out for much longer."

"That is...out of the question," she choked out.

"It's too late for her. I might have let the other time slide but not now, not after-"

"Didn't you just promise that you weren't going to leave?" she interrupted again. "That isn't exactly compatible with an extended tracking expedition, is it?"

I frowned, a snarl building deep within me. I didn't have to track Victoria to kill her. I knew she would be back for Bella, it was to avenge James and she wasn't going to stop until either her or Bella was dead. And it would never be Bella, I vowed to myself.

"I will keep my promise, Bella. But Victoria" -there was that snarl-"is going to die. Soon."

"Let's not be hasty," she said, doing a poor job trying to hide the panic that so easily rang out in her voice. "Maybe she's not coming back. Jake's pack probably scared her off. There's really no reason to go looking for her. Besides, I've got bigger problems than Victoria."

I didn't want to worry her by telling her that Victoria would most likely be back. Our other problems flooded back to mind then. I nodded, my eyes narrowing," It's true. The werewolves are a problem."

She snorted. "I wasn't talking about _Jacob_. My problems are a lot worse than a handful of adolescent wolves getting themselves into trouble."

I laughed inside my head. Werewolves were dangerous, temperamental and down right stupid. I refrained from saying anything and instead spoke through my teeth asking,"Really? Then what would be your greatest problem? That would make Victoria's returning for you seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?"

"How about the second greatest?" she asked, something a little off. Instantly I was suspicious, why not the first?

"Alright," I agreed nonetheless, taking what I could get.

She paused, deciding it looked liked. "There are others who are coming to look for me," she finally said, in a whisper.

I sighed, she must be talking about the Volturi. That was nothing to worry about, at least not compared to other things. "The Volturi are only the _second _ greatest?"

"You don't seem that upset about it," she noted.

I was going to have to explain this to her, darling Bella, she forgets the way things are for vampires. "Well, we have plenty of time to think it through. Time means something very different to them than it does to you, or even me. They count years the way you count days." It was true the ninety years before I had met Bella seemed like just a few months. It was different now that I was with her all the time, she made me think about each individual day, each was a new adventure and time spent with her, something never to be forgotten. I continued on in a light, joking tone,"I wouldn't be surprised if you were thirty before you crossed their minds again."

A look of pure horror crossed her face. Uh-oh, had I said something wrong?

**A/N: Alright peoples, SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG WAIT!!!!!! My laptop is still not working so I'm just using my mom's. I've had kind of a writer's block on this, while most of it is Stephenie Meyer's idea please understand that some of it is my own, you know trying to interpret Edward and all. But again sorry for the delay i will probably post again soon please PLEASE review and tell me what you think about this, perhaps I should just stop writing? LOL let me know, I LOVE YOU ALL!!**

**Much Love,**

**Lust4Edward**


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